Have you ever been really excited about doing or pursuing something and out of nowhere something pops up to get in your way? This could be anything… a red flag saying no, don’t do it!, a health condition, a partner discouraging you, a family emergency, or a distraction of any kind. That thing you were so determined to do or experience all of a sudden is now up on the table to potentially be put on the back burner.

This past weekend, I escaped to one of my most soul nourishing places on the planet which is the White Mountains of New Hampshire. On my last day there, I had planned the hikes I wanted to get in before I began my 4+hr trek home. 

I set out to begin the first hike which promised a steep incline, but magnificent views if you stuck it out. The first distraction was that even with my gps on and alerting me of where to go, I still managed to drive right by the road in front of me. Due to the traffic, I had to loop back around through town to try again. Approximately 10 minutes later, I finally get back to where I needed to be to start my journey.

Once on the road itself, it is residential for approximately the first mile and then you turn off onto a dirt “Class 6” road which is not maintained and had a nice sign saying pass at your own risk. I had read that 2WD cars may find difficulty with it. I had quite a day the day before where I tested my 2WD car’s off roading abilities so I wasn’t concerned.

This road was very steep in spots and very rocky and filled with lots of dirt potholes. My car bounced all the way up. I wasn’t entirely sure where the trailhead was going to be since I had no cell service in this area. I felt a little uneasy about continuing higher and higher due to the state of the road and I debated turning around a few times. However, the road was so narrow there was no turning around unless I found a driveway. 

At the very end of the inclined stretch, my tire sensors started beeping and I immediately got that pit in the stomach feeling of “Oh crap. I am going to be stuck on this mountain bc I shouldn’t have driven this car up here”. My mind instantly went to “I should turn around...I need to turn around….” But there was nowhere to turn around! I figured I would drive a little more until I had the space to do so or a driveway. Sure enough, my drive a little more brought me to the top of the hill and the parking for the trailhead. 

I still felt uneasy about the situation and how I would get down or if I could get home that night. My first thought was “Maybe I should just go back down right now.” I checked my tire pressures with a gauge I carry and they all seemed fine. I hoped it was a faulty reading that just went off because of the rough terrain I had been on. I reset the sensor and said “I came all this way, I am going to do the dang hike!” 

As soon as I started walking on to the trail and saw the first view from there, I knew I had made the right choice. My intuition led me to this hike for a reason. My fear, wanted me to run from doing it as if was a “bad trail” that I shouldn’t be on. And my sensors beeping were my warning to turn around. I did still need to drive a LONG way home and I needed a car and tires to do so!

But, how much would I have missed if I had let my fear drive me back down the road and not done any hiking that day?

Turns out, my tires were perfectly fine. Pressure never changed and the sensor never came back on. I made it down the road and home as if nothing ever happened. 

And what did I get from sticking it out and pushing past my fear? 

A fantastic hike on a trail that isn’t frequented by the masses. A personal physical, mental and emotional challenge as I pushed my own barriers in the wilderness by myself.  A great workout, stunning views of most of the area that literally could not have been better and fresh blueberries! Right before I was about to head down, I found a huge mass of bear scat which led me to look around a little more. (If you don’t know me, I LOVE wildlife and tracking them via their droppings and/or footprints) Sure enough, I found about 12+ piles of moose scat!!! Some of which were fresh! I was chilling with the moose and I didn’t even know it! Meanwhile the night before I drove 3 hours to Moose Alley in northern New Hampshire to find moose and instead only found turkeys and a porcupine!  

Over the past few years, I have learned that as you are on your own personal journey of growth and self-discovery you will come across things that attempt to stop you in your tracks. At every one of these moments or junctions you are given a choice. To keep going, push through and grow or to stay in that same space you have always been. Maru Iabichela, a friend, coach and teacher of mine calls this Upleveling. 

Have you ever had an experience of upleveling where fear tried to get in the way? Were you able to overcome it? What did you get to grow into because of your own ability to be courageous?

I am so proud of myself for getting to the summit no matter what! It was SO worth it!